Blog Entries

Stay at home moms, I feel you

Posted by Hartsvillemom.com on Sunday, May 6, 2018
SAHM, the acronym that all Stay At Home Moms instantly recognizes. It's become a title of it's own, dominating many websites, blogs and forums all over the internet. 

As a millennial mom, I feel the struggles of how many young mothers try to come to terms with this title and identity. Some wish they could be more than just a SAHM. They wish they could also work part-time while the little ones go to preschool, while others wish they could have squeezed in another degree achievement before they started having kids. After having an established career and giving it up to start a family, it actually does feel like you've gone into early retirement at age 27 or 33 or whenever you got pregnant with that first precious baby. 

And then to start a part-time job, taking the leap to slowly get back in the workforce and putting in the work to arrange the kids into daycare, having sleepless nights because the kids got sick from daycare, fighting through missing them and them missing you, and then to have it all blow up in your face with a big bomb of disappointment at the end, is devastating and it happened to me. If we are not financially struggling, why are we doing this right now? 

My sons are currently 4 and 1. My little boys and my husband are my whole world. With all the things I've done wrong in my life, I must have done something right and am extremely lucky to have them. Back in the olden golden days, during the older generations, it was normal for a SAHM to be home until the kids finished high school, and then remain a stay at home wife after the kids have left for college. Now, I feel like there's this huge pressure to become more than that; as if there is a bit of a negative connotation for being just a SAHM. Why do we feel this way? 

Anyone who has gotten pregnant and raised rambunctious little ones close in age, knows that this early period in parenthood is so amazing but also require a lot of energy and a drastic transition from the previous chapters of all of our lives. The little ones love and need you so much and without a caregiver, they would not survive. After all, we nurse them, spoon feed them until they learn how to hold that spoon, change their diapers, teach them how to "go potty" in the toilet, reprimand them when they are doing something bad and the list goes on. 

I enjoy being able to say, I'm the one who takes care of my sons at home. I taught them almost everything they know. Their alphabet, numbers, shapes and every "please" or "thank you" they utter without having to remind them to say make me so proud. In a way, that is like my report card or performance review of how I'm doing as a mother. 

So if I am doing my job right as a SAHM, why do I feel so defensive when someone asks me if I work? Why does it stir up insecurity? In a modern world, where almost everything is being measured with a metric or an analytics report, I think we feel that if we don't produce something that is measurable, like a paycheck that shows how much money you make, we feel like we are not being productive to society. 

The truth is, SAHMs, by being home and taking great care of your own offspring, you are contributing to society by raising our future leaders, engineers and doctors of our society. Our children could one day invent something that will greatly improve our lives or even prolong the longevity of the human race. Jobs aside and more importantly, we're raising them to become decent human beings. We are teaching them right from wrong, encouraging them with our love and mending anything broken. They are our hope. Somebody has to take care of these amazing little humans and the best candidate for that job is you, mama, their own mother who they love and need with all of their hearts. You are their #1 choice. 

And when the little ones grow bigger and it's time to return to the workforce, you will know. And if it doesn't work out like you thought it would (like me), we'll figure it all out later. Every mom has a different path. If financially able and the best choice for the family is for you to stay home and take care of the family even when they don't need you to physically hold their hands anymore, you'll also know this. They will still need holding in different ways, emotionally. And being able to rush to their side immediately, because you are emotionally ready and available, oh what a gift you've given to your children (and significant other)!

Sometimes God has His ways of giving you clues to what you're tasked to do. I think this is what I'm meant to do at this point in my life. My incredibly important responsibility, like many other SAHMs, is to raise my little boys and show them love, care and encouragement so that they will have the qualities they need to succeed and help heal the world. I hope that you find the peace that you need, if you are still figuring this all out. SAHMs, we have a great task on our hands! Until whatever comes next, let's enjoy this season and whenever someone asks us if we work, I encourage you to smile and say "I'm a stay at home mom" because you will be surprised at how they'll react to your smile as a response.

I feel you, mama.

Love,
Hartsvillemom.com
SAHM 



Hartsville Mom


HartsvilleMom.com As a veteran's wife whose husband works in the nuclear field, moving every several years seems to be part of our life path. We have lived in Hartsville, among many other cities. Getting acclimated to a new town means starting over each time for us and to help myself and my family, I compiled everything I needed to see in one place on this website. I hope this will help you too.
All the photos from the 'Restaurants' page, 'Kalmia Gardens', 'McLeod Farms and Museum', 'Coffee Shops & Bakeries' and 'Events & Activities' page on HartsvilleMom.com were all taken by me during our visits. They are my original content.

Find family-friendly things to do in Hartsville by going to the 'Events & Activities' page.

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